Tis the season
Well, December has been eventful. To be honest though, I haven't made much progress toward my year goal of going somewhere else. COVID-19 still going strong and now there are mutated strains found in South America and the UK. I'm not exactly sure how travel will be affected but I'm assuming more countries will be locking down. At work, not much has changed aside from getting more patients who either want to come in, or want to avoid coming in.
Recently I've been thinking about the impact of life and death. A family member's mother recently passed away, and she was the one of the most pleasant people I knew. I still have a memory of seeing a picture of her sitting on a playground horse smiling and laughing. What's more hilarious is that the picture was taken when she was most likely in her early to mid 80's. Pretty unusual to see an elderly Asian lady doing that, let alone seemingly to laugh knowing how it must seem to others. It's sad, but that is the eventuality - life and then death.
Being able to impact one's life is an amazing responsibility. I have a strong desire to do that, but not in the current realm of what I'm doing. It's funny, I want to impart life changing advice and wisdom that I've learned through experience or things that have been revealed to me. Being religious, that is a huge part of who I am and has really helped to form the person that I am today. I feel the weight of it - being a leader and helping out the micro with hopes that if enough of the smaller pieces can get affected, the macro can change. My current thought process is that by exposing myself to different situations outside of my comfort zone, it would accelerate my growth as a person as well as the ability to self-reflect and see how God's wisdom is in everything. I think that's why I feel that urge to do something different, something new. But at the same time, I feel like I'm not ready, if that makes sense. Not only that, but the current circumstances don't really seem to allow for travel to happen.
I can say though, last week, I remembered how it was like walking around Osaka and taking the public transportation from the gundam statute back to Shibuya, and feeling this desire to experience that again. Just the calmness of being in a new situation with my partner, reflecting on how things have progressed to where they are now. It's something that I feel a yearning for, but also, with tampered expectations that it might not ever happen. I know that working in a foreign country is tough, not just because of the language but because of the work culture, lack of community/relationships, and the general sense of just feeling like you're own your own. But, I also feel that by being pushed into that situation, you learn how to rely on the things that matter most.
On another front, my side hustle has done pretty well this month. Got to make sure to keep paying off those credit card bills though.
See you in the new year!